We all want to experience that wonderful feeling of happiness. Why does it often seem like an elusive butterfly, oftentimes hard to capture. Everybody has their own idea of what happiness means. Merriam -Webster dictionary defines it as “a state of wellbeing and contentment. Joy, satisfaction, fulfillment- the opposite of sadness.” The subject goes back to ancient philosophers Aristotle, Epicurus or more recent authors, John Stuart Mill, and popular writings today such as The Art of Happiness – 14th Dalai Lama, The Happiness Project – Gretchen Rubin, and Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert.

WHAT CHALLENGES US?

Happiness is an emotional state of being, and we as humans are driven more by our emotions than logic. Human brain research scientist Dr. Joe Dispenza tells us that we average over 60,000 thoughts a day, and most of those are on negative memories of the past or thoughts of the future. Getting to a state of happiness can be a real challenge. We are constantly bombarded with negative influences, experiences, and encounters such as the daily news media, a bad day at work, or an argument with a friend, relative, or coworker. We can’t stay “happy” all of the time. We can’t always have the king of the hill or mountain top experiences. That’s just the way it is in this world. There is a Law of Polarity that tells us that “everything is dual, everything has positive and negative poles or opposites. These are varying degrees of the same thing. Heat and cold, love and hate, good and evil, happiness and unhappiness. The good news is that happiness leaves clues and tracks that can increase our odds of experiencing more feel-good states and experiences.

MOVING THE ODDS

My definition of happiness is more like a winning combination of some of today's best authors like Brian Tracy and Tony Robbins. Happiness, however, is something that YOU define and has three common denominators;

Progress - Tony Robbins talks about this in his many events, and I agree there is something inside of us that causes us to feel good when we are making progress in any area of our life. Recall times in your life when things were really clicking and moving forward. You won the deal, lost 3 pounds, saved $50.00, gained a new friend. How did that feel at the time? As I describe in my book. The 7 Gears Between Cause & Effect (Gaining Mastery Over Your Outcome, Results, and Conditions), There are 8 core goal areas that every human being should focus on. Financial, Educational, Relational, Personal/Business, Career, Family/Home/Recreation, Mental/Spiritual, Physical body- health and Service- giving back. When we make any kind of progress, no matter how small, we feel good whether we are consciously aware of it or not. We were made for improvement, and it’s part of our fulfillment formula. Author Thomas Troward put it eloquently when he said, “Getting things into a better order is the greatest secret of progress.” Before moving on to the next key element in the secret of happiness, I have one caveat, don’t let perfection become an enemy to your progress. Just do what you can with where you are and with what you have to work with.
Control or Influence – “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you’re doing, you will be successful.” – Albert Schweitzer. No matter what you’re doing, when you have a sense of control or influence, it simply feels good, and it contributes to your overall state of happiness. Whatever you’re trying to accomplish, whether it’s winning a deal, a contract or sale, or negotiating with your kids or loved one, when you feel you are in control of the process, you contribute to your happiness. Gear 6 Decision–Choice is a power factor that we all have, and it’s a form of control or influence. When you make a decision and say, That’s it! I’ve had it! No more of this! or I‘m ready to begin a new path, and you just took control. How does it feel? Think of a time when you made a decision, and you likely felt empowered by it?
Faith - Belief - There’s a chapter on Faith and Belief (Gear 3) in The 7 Gears Between Cause & Effect describing the overwhelming power and influence of what we believe to be true and its controlling effect on our outcomes and experiences. There’s not enough space to go into it all here. Suffice it to say that what we believe or expect has a tendency to come true in our lives, and it has a commanding influence on the quality of our lives.

VALUES ALIGNED

If what you are doing aligns with your values and purpose, it feels good; it adds to your happiness. When you are in a conversation or working with someone who shares your values, it becomes an enjoyable, happy experience. It’s been said that the most valuable part of reaching your goals is what you become in the process, not the goal itself. The wonderful thing about advancing in any of those 8 goal areas mentioned earlier is that you can enjoy the process. All of this creates a sense of fulfillment, and that gives you joy and happiness.

OTHER CONTRIBUTING FACTORS

Check out the chapter on State of Mind- Confidence: The Growth Zone, in The 7 Gears Between Cause & Effect, for a deeper discovery of happiness factors and other empowering states.

“You are your best investment, so don’t major in minor things.”